by Pastor Meng Cham
"Breaking barriers, building bonds"
There's a constant need for Healing and conflict resolution in a family
Family:
Deepest wounds
Greatest healing
Family thrives when we choose God's grace and forgiveness
1. The original conflict
- Devil disrupted the mandate between God and our first parents
- devil is the conflict instigator, he did it joyfully and gleefully
- division and distruction is the devil's goal
2. The inevitable conflicts
#Common causes of conflicts
- unmet expectations
- miscommunicatn
- unresolved past hurts
- fear and insecurity
We're not young enough to know everything
James 4:1-2
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
- Overbearing
- insistent of ones ways
Instead of asking Holy Spirit to search us, we allow the flame to burn, to divide us
Conflicts need not always be detrimental to relationship. Approach with a growth mindset instead of negative mindset
3. Thriving through conflicts
Marriage like a deck of cards
Starts with Two heArts and diamond, Not spade and clubs
1. Forgive as we have been forgiven
Ephesians 4:30-32
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
(Toxic build up, continue this will grieve the holy spirit )
Forgiveness is costly but unforgiveness cost more
"To forgive as God in Christ forgave you" is Of strength and insecurity. It takes courage to let go, and let guilty off the hook, choosing not to let unforgiveness define your future.
True forgiveness is no more remembering the person deeds against us
2. Be gracious as God is gracious
James 4:1-10
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4 You adulterous people,[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us[b]? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”[c]
7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Forgiveness is Freely offered but with Humility with honesty,
His unmerited grace gives us second chance
3. Love as we have been loved
1 John 4:18-19
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us.
Fear triggers self defense mechanism
God display His love through his son by Sending Jesus to die on the cross to reconcile us to God
## Losing a conflict, argument, quarrel Does not diminish who we are in God ##
Love values People over personal preference
God's love break barriers, build bonds and Binds brokenhearted
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